dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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