just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
