Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
