She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
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