so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize