she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
