Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Randomize
