so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
