I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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