I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
