Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
