Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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