btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She told me I should be a condom model.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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