Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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