is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Moan for me like Helen Keller
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
