So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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