I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
