I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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