i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Enjoy the penises
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
