Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.