He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
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Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
