I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
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apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!