based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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