Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
