so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
should my penis look like a turkey
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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