you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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