But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
