Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
