So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
