So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize