Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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