I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
