why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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