She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
