My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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