I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
