Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
