Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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