next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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