You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
