dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i need some magic done to my vagina
lying in bed pretending to be a slug