Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.