Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again