I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
