wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
