You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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