So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
