Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
