As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
