Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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