The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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