We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
