she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Me too!
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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