So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
