We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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