I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
