are you still at the devil's house?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
