Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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