You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
