What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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