this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
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So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
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Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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