the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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