WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
