TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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