Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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