Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
