haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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